Remember it’s hard to maintain an argument with someone who isn’t adding brush to the fire.
1. Thoughtfully. Stop angry words before regret. Learn to nip verbal cycles that lead to arguments.
Some spats have lasted far too long and others don’t need to happen. Practice a pause (one deep breath or two) before you reply, especially in conversations you know could be button-pushing or with a person who
already irritates you. Memorize responses that don’t spark your ire or theirs…like… “You could be right.” “I’ve never thought of it that way.” “I’ll consider your input.” Proving our rightness is a game of children, one we are capable of giving up.
When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 1 Corinthians 13:11, NLT
2. Humbly. This attribute is shy. If we think we are, we probably are not. It doesn’t do well in a spotlight. Humility, while shy, is far from weak. Humility has the courage to take responsibility for unkind words and heated actions. Humility will not only improve our tone it will soften our heart and the person who is offended. Let’s submit our will to the Lord daily and see how we will grow in wisdom.
Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. ~Proverbs 11:2
3. Sincerely. It only adds fuel to the flames to say “sorry” in a tone that could shatter windows, buzz-saw a redwood, or win a trophy for Most Sarcastic. And when apologizing don’t expect applause or an
Emmy for doing so. Say it sincerely then seal lips with Duct Tape if necessary.
Just because we are emotionally willing to apologize doesn’t mean the other person is emotionally ready to receive it. Let them live with your kind words for what ever time they need…patience is a stepping stone to humility and proof of sincerity.
4. Memory. Memorize a verse from the Bible (Proverbs has a plethora) or a great quote that speaks to your heart about kindness, humility, or love. Then you can replay it in your mind as often as you need it to strengthen resolve.
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ~Colossians 3:12-13, NIV
The wise store up knowledge,
but the mouth of a fool invites ruin. ~Proverbs 10:14, NIV
Too much talk leads to sin.
Be sensible and keep your mouth shut. ~Proverbs 10:19, NLT
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