4 ways to “Douse an Angry Exchange”

Remember it’s hard to maintain an argument with someone who isn’t adding brush to the fire.

1. Thoughtfully. Stop angry words before regret. Learn to nip verbal cycles that lead to arguments.

Some spats have lasted far too long and others don’t need to happen. Practice a pause (one deep breath or two) before you reply, especially in conversations you know could be button-pushing or with a person who

already irritates you. Memorize responses that don’t spark your ire or theirs…like… “You could be right.” “I’ve never thought of it that way.” “I’ll consider your input.” Proving our rightness is a game of children, one we are capable of giving up.

When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 1 Corinthians 13:11, NLT

2. Humbly. This attribute is shy. If we think we are, we probably are not. It doesn’t do well in a spotlight. Humility, while shy, is far from weak. Humility has the courage to take responsibility for unkind words and heated actions.  Humility will not only improve our tone it will soften our heart and the person who is offended. Let’s submit our will to the Lord daily and see how we will grow in wisdom.

Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. ~Proverbs 11:2


3. Sincerely. It only adds fuel to the flames to say “sorry” in a tone that could shatter windows, buzz-saw a redwood, or win a trophy for Most Sarcastic. And when apologizing don’t expect applause or an

Emmy for doing so. Say it sincerely then seal lips with Duct Tape if necessary.

Just because we are emotionally willing to apologize doesn’t mean the other person is emotionally ready to receive it. Let them live with your kind words for what ever time they need…patience is a stepping stone to humility and proof of sincerity.

4. Memory. Memorize a verse from the Bible (Proverbs has a plethora) or a great quote that speaks to your heart about kindness, humility, or love. Then you can replay it in your mind as often as you need it to strengthen resolve.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.

Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ~Colossians 3:12-13, NIV

The wise store up knowledge,
but the mouth of a fool invites ruin. ~Proverbs 10:14, NIV

Too much talk leads to sin.
Be sensible and keep your mouth shut. ~Proverbs 10:19, NLT

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  1. Sherri on November 21, 2017 at 9:15 pm

    Boy did I need this today. Gods timing is always perfect. Thank you

  2. Karen Redman on November 21, 2017 at 9:21 pm

    I just love patsy Clairmont. I wish i would have found out about her long ago. I would love to meet her. Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas. Thank you for all the inspiration you give. You may not know it but it keeps some of us going. Love you Patsy Calirmont.

  3. Faye on November 21, 2017 at 11:07 pm

    Well AMEN !

  4. Faye on November 21, 2017 at 11:09 pm

    Amen ! Great thoughts on responding.

  5. Kathy Koeltzow on November 22, 2017 at 12:17 am

    A young Vietnamese man once shared some of his families good advice, one I remember is if you are temped to respond in anger get a tall glass of ice cold water and drink it before you speak!

  6. Karen K. on November 22, 2017 at 2:21 am

    love your wise words—may have to use them this Thanksgiving with extended family.

  7. Carolyn Cantrell on November 22, 2017 at 5:36 am

    Perfect post for pre-Thanksgiving family gatherings!

    • Lynn Wooten on November 24, 2017 at 8:07 pm

      Perfect timing (as always) for a situation with my 16 yr old son!

  8. Torey on November 22, 2017 at 6:33 pm

    Awesome words!!! And so very true!!

  9. Mary Helle on November 24, 2017 at 12:34 pm

    I’m going to print this out and place on fridge for a constant reminder. So appreciate your wise counsel, Patsy❤️

  10. Karen J. Shepherd on November 27, 2017 at 8:49 am

    Thank You so much Patsy….. very wise words,, could have used this yesterday… 😕
    You are wonderful to listen to, and now reading your wisdom.💜.

  11. Jeanne on November 29, 2017 at 7:07 pm

    Thank you so much, Patsy! My heart goes out to you, as you have been through so much depression and anxiety. I, also, have been through much anxiety during my lifetime. I, too, have suffered from panic attacks, and understand what those terrible times are like. Thank you for being so very honest and open about what you have been through and also what helps you. You are a very remarkable and faithful child of God! Please keep writing and speaking. You have helped untold thousands of us! Love you so much!!! Jeanne

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